Post by Jacob Regan on Nov 17, 2010 5:27:35 GMT -5
Me: Dear god, uhm, sorry it’s been a while…
GOD: Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away now it looks as though they’re here to stay OH I believe in yesterday…
Me: Hey…
GOD: Suddenly I’m not half the man I used to be…
Me: Hello…
GOD: There’s a shadow hanging over me…
Me: Hellooooooooo!!!!
GOD: OH yesterday came suddenly…
Me: What the HELL…
GOD: Everytime our eyes meet this feeling inside me is almost more then I can take…
Me: This blows. Hey G man, get over the heartbreak already and answer my prayers… *Pulls the plug on the ‘Allmighty’ stereo*
GOD: Hey whatcha gone and done that for?
Me: OH gee I don’t know, perhaps it’s just cause YOU’RE GOD and I need you’re help in listening to my problems and not me listening to yours…
GOD: That doesn’t seem fair does it…
Me: But you’re God, the big cheese, the G man…
GOD: And that doesn’t entitle me to have problems…
Me: No, it just doesn’t entitle you to throw them in my face…
GOD: But you can throw yours in mine…
Me: Obviously…
GOD: Why…
Me: Seriously, you’re G.O.D, God. That’s why…
GOD: I never asked to be…
Me: What, are you serious or yanking my chain…
GOD: I wouldn’t want to yank any part of you…
Me: Good…
GOD: Good…
Me: Sooo, what’s the problem BIG man…
GOD: I don’t know, I don’t wanna talk about it…
Me: What’s her name G man…
GOD: I don’t know what you’re talking about…
Me: Just tell me already I’m getting tired and I want to go to bed, it’s getting late…
GOD: I can’t…
Me: You can’t what…
GOD: Tell you her name…
Me: Well then tell me about her…
GOD: I can’t do that either, it’s too hard…
Me: Okay that’s it I’m going to bed…
GOD: No. Don’t yet…
Me: Why…
GOD: It feels good just talking…
Me: You’re wasting my time…
GOD: Okay Jesus, you humans are so concerned with time for god-sakes man, it’s just time…
Me: Well you didn’t give us much of it now did you…
GOD: So it’s my fault is it? Everything’s my fault. She said that too…
Me: Who did…
GOD: I can’t…
Me: Right, you can’t say…
GOD: …
Me: Let me guess, it’s that bitch Mary isn’t it…
GOD: *Looks perplexed*
Me: What did you expect G man, you can’t just get a girl pregnant and then leave her for another man to pick up your slack…
GOD: But I…
Me: But you WHAT? No ‘buts’ about it G man. It’s just not done. It’s against your own religion…
GOD: Hey, I am God, I can change the rules…
Me: No you can’t. They’re your rules, if you start breaking them what sort of example is that for us…
GOD: I get your point…
Me: Good, now good night. I’m going to bed now…
GOD: Good night…
Me: And keep the music down will you…
GOD: Yes ‘mom’…
Me: Really? After all that that’s the best you got…
GOD: I…
Me: Not another word out of you. You go straight to your room and not another peep or you’re grounded for the next millennium, understand?
GOD: …
Me: I asked you a question, answer me…
GOD: But you said…
Me: Are you getting flip with me…
GOD: No…
Me: Good, now do you understand…
GOD: Yes…
Me: Now off to your room…
GOD: *walks away looking like a lost puppy*
Me: *Turns on the ‘Almighty Stereo’ and put’s on ACDC’s Highway to Hell*